Alyson.17. lots of girls and some other stuff.

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"Even if you put me through so much shit, I would still take a bullet for you."

- R.R. (via missinyouiskillingme)

"You’re my everything; I’m your nothing."

- Six Word Story (via shut-thejongup)

(via shut-thejongup)


In school they teach you
how to multiply 9x8
make you read Macbeth
and have you memorize the first 10 amendments to the constitution.

But they don’t teach you how to
stop loving someone who has
stopped loving you
or how to deal with losing
a friend to an unsaid goodbye
and a relative to a cancer that ate
away their brain.

At home I learned from my father that
alcohol can make as many problems
as it solves
but damn does it feel good
to let my throat burn instead of my heart
and to tune out the problems in my head
that I just couldn’t solve.

Because life isn’t 9x8 
and it isn’t the way authors describe
their characters in a story.

It’s those nights you lay awake
missing someone
wishing things could be different
and it’s the next day when you realize they can’t
and then it’s how you pick yourself up
after being down for so long.

I taught myself that."

- what have you learned? (via fuckyouveryveryymuch)

"Come back to me please, lie to me. Tell me you love me, tell me I’m the only one you want. I can’t sleep at night. Baby please. I need you. I need you, god dammit. I need you."

- K.L, God fucking dammit I need you. (via aztecianlipstick)

(via aztecianlipstick)


You weren’t healthy for me

"You couldn’t handle her anymore, she was broken and you thought you weren’t. The truth is, she was struggling to survive and trying to remember how to breathe. Everyday was hard for her and you didn’t make it any easier all those times you questioned her about her shaking hands or vacant state. She tried not to be so obvious about the fact that it felt like the world was sitting on her shoulders and that she thought she might collapse at any second, she tried to hide her sadness from you, she always smiled as you neared even though just moments before she had been clutching her chest in the bathroom stall trying to keep her heart from jumping out of her throat.
She put you on a pedestal, she adores you, but it wasn’t ever enough and you NEEDED, WANTED, HAD to get more.
More more more more more.
So you did exactly that, you found a girl with brighter eyes and a smile that didn’t falter. Fuck, you should have seen her the night she found out. She shattered and the tears that fell from her eyes were stronger than tsunami tides. People said she was a mess, but in this situation I think you’re the fucking train wreck because you couldn’t love a girl who didn’t love herself and although her sadness wasn’t romantic, you didn’t do much to teach her the tricks on how to live in a state of bliss.
Hey, man, I’ll let you know one thing- you’ll see her weeks from the day you told her that you couldn’t deal with her pain and despair any longer and you won’t recognize the girl walking by because she’ll have met some people who fill the emptiness in her eyes and put some strength into her spine
And you’ll wish you had bothered to fucking try"

- I’m sorry this is so god damned long (via tragicinsanity)

(Source: , via tragicinsanity)


in a year you’ll spill over with the maple syrup of her love
and your facebook will be a torture device i use
when i’m halfdrunk and looking to be

in six months i’ll still call you in the dead of night
but you’ll have stopped answering such a long time ago
i’ll just speak diaries into your answering machine,
endless pointless babble

in three months your messages will still be saved
on my phone and i’ll stay up reading them
just to get off on
feeling my heart crumble

i see our end coming maybe a month or two
from right now,
i can hear it click slowly into the chamber
as you bring the gun around

because baby for a while now you’ve been
falling out of love
maybe it’s you maybe it’s our timeline maybe it’s that
i’m not enough

but baby tomorrow you’ll kiss me hard enough
to turn off the sirens screaming in my head
and i won’t realize you’ve charmed me back into believing
until you’ve taken me to bed

but baby tomorrow we’ll still be a couple
we’ll drink lemonade and laugh at bad jokes and
you’ll unstring yourself just a little bit more and i’ll try
sowing myself to your heart just a little bit closer
we’ll seem like we’re doing just fine
instead of perched on the edge of sorrow

and dear god but do i live
for that love you’ll pretend


- If you close your eyes, you can almost pretend like it’s all going just fine again. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)